Being Okay with Being Me

World of Warcraft has been the central point of what is becoming an amazing journey and a huge part of my life. It was just one person who brought me to WoW, but it has been my presence in game, and specifically in the online community outside of the game that has changed my life.

I have spent the past three months (and will spend many more in the future) in weekly counseling to try to face and repair some of the damage caused by being raised in very abusive situations. I have lived with severe social anxiety, along with a slew of other problems. I’ve been to counseling in the past but it never seemed to work. Then, I found the right counselor, and the right support group and now amazing things are happening.

At the beginning of July, I sent my first letter to Tauren Think Tank. It was honest, anonymous to the listeners, and terrifying. I was afraid to send it but needed somebody to reach out to. August, I sent an update to my first letter that was also anonymous. And then in September, things started changing in the most awesome way. I stopped being anonymous and introduced myself to the listeners. The outpouring of support I got was overwhelming.

Since then, the number of followers I have on Twitter has grown quite a bit, I am now a part of a guild that I can do nothing with except talk to once in a while, but still I have people in game that I can talk to. Whenever I have a question, or need help, there are people I can ask in game and via Twittter, and there are people who are more than willing to help. I have found the strength to reach out to people with questions and to share my struggles. It has been the constant support from this that has helped me do things recently that a few months ago anxiety would have kept me from ever honestly considering. This story I have could go on forever. My life has been full of struggles and still is, but it’s the wonderful things that keep happening that continue to push me forward to a better life, and to a life where I can be proud of who I am and can just be myself without having to worry.

The WoW community is an amazing community full of love and support and is one that I am proud to be a part of. It is Because of WoW that I am typing this message today. It is Because of WoW that I can talk to people online without being completely terrified of what they’re thinking of me. It is Because of WoW that I can proudly say my social anxiety no longer controls my life.

Thank you to all who have been helping me through this journey, and who continue to help and support me along the way.

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1 comments
tehknuck
tehknuck

In the short time I've known you I've not only had a great amount of fun, but have developed a great amount of respect for your bravery and resolve.  My own challenges with PTSD are ongoing, as are yours, and I draw continuing inspiration from your spirit and friendship.  I'm glad we met, and hope we have many more adventures in the future :)